shi*t, truth, and everything in between

Nothing much for the rest of the day aside from listening Bruce Springsteen and Michael and Janet Jackson songs in the pc. My brother who is busy doing his thesis is sitting monotonously on his board roughly the whole day. He takes his breaks only when eating, checking on his phone, and strumming his guitar. And oh yes, when he wants to pee and drink water.

And here I am, trying to build up my journal. I have this plan of publishing something in the future whether or not will somebody crazily buy it. Hee hee hee. I read some old stuff of mine and realize how mushy or shallow my thoughts were. I cringe and laugh while my brother smiles and tells me I haven’t graduated from those. Sayang ang mga thoughts so I was just trying to improve the stuff. Some are totally unpublishable as some people who could relate to it would totally… I don’t know. Just not worth publishing.

Somebody asked me what happened to Makati Diaries. Well, I’ve got a few continuations but I was just not able to sink my teeth on it. I mean… the original idea of conjuring the stuff has already been diverted so I lose the drive to maintain the chronicles. I have decided to put the thing to an end one day. Because…. Well, I’ll tell you soon. For now, just pure “crap” and shitty nonsense in this blog.

It is only 3pm and I still have the afternoon for something else. I’m doing this quilted pillowcase and am now in step 3. Hopefully I will be able to finish it until I have bought bed mattresses.

Stumbling baby Joe. wet
diapers and all that. mama’s
singing you a lullaby. A
bottle of milk and 60 winks.
Be prepared little guy – you’ll
Know when you’re ready for
The real stiff drink.

White to brown, black gold
Black, care for taste?
Something jazzy. Something
Chilled. A sip on straw
Perhaps. Until you curse
For longing, under your
Nicotined teeth.

But mama said beware
Of the notorious monster
it makes. How the years waltz to pass. A
shade of cataract in your eye. A
Fake laugh. A Big heart. And
Bubbling boiling blood.

That’s when you learn the
Real stuff. Behind those
Blinking lights. Your lungs
Burn our boy. A vagabond
A beast of the streets. Like a
Shadow that would bite.
Stumbling old Joe.

[thomasian engineer/march 2000]

There are a few things actually.

You act as if the “computer monitor” is the “television”. It is the main entertainment source inside our rectangular room. Kind of exaggerated. Well, I sold my newly won jvc dvd player not because we don’t have a television technically but so I could buy a combo thingamajig for the pc. Wouldn’t that be neat?

Spell boredom. You get to be in the list of top renter at the nearby video city store. You rate from 1 to 2 movies a day which makes you familiarize with the actor/actress performance, whether he or she won in this movie or not. You criticize their acting, notice how young they were when they did the film, and guess which movie did they come out. Until I finally noticed that Penelope Cruz allows breast exposures, while Gwyneth Paltrow allows back nudity. Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise are really versatile actors. John Travolta will be effective in movies that require him to cross legs and put his hands together. Don Cheadle is a very useful actor. He could be an African hero, a negro marrying a Chinese, and a black in a group of white thieves. You develop the sense of picking the right vcd or what. Worse … you sometimes choose to pick just anything so we could finally get out of the store.

You don’t know what’s happening around lest you chance to look at newspaper stands (I don’t buy newspaper really). I get dumbfounded twice. For example, Ernie Baron died the other day. First shock –He’s gone. Second shock – what else happened? Oops, am I blaming the tv? I’ll hide it in my answer.. y-e-s!

You appreciate the guitar. The boys and I constantly jam acoustics together and stuff… you know, sing together.

            Get to read and finish another book.

I listen to my favorite radio station jam88.3. If the station plays non acoustics or not my favorites I move to wave89.1

You develop the desire to write down thoughts, make poems and vignettes, or start a book because the computer is always open.

The mp3 and lyrics folder size gets humongous from time to time. The latest is Ultramagneticjam album. My favorite? Alcohol by radioativesago project.

Well, I don’t have this great urgency to buy tv. My uncle though will be giving us one, though still, not really excited about it. I don’t know why. Though I did envy the shrieking and yelling of the neighbors when Pacquiao was wining, or when people got the news about the stampede. It leaves us kind of innocent not to be aware of the world sometimes.